Listen to your heart

After these years of avoiding feeling or trying to be strong and independent, I slowly lose the ability to listen to my own real voice. I find it very hard to actually know how I feel and my inside though.

I have been trying to build up a very-strong- and-less-emotional YiFan in front of everyone. Because of self protection, my relationship with people is very surface. I'm not willing to invest too much time and effort to any relationship. Purely I don't want to get hurt.

By time pass, I feel alone but it is exactly I want to be. I believe I can be more rational and able to handle different changes and situations. It is kind of right, I do feel easy to let go but I also miss a lot of opportunities to build up long term relationship. That is why I always think I am my own best friend.

I want to change this! I want to be more opened to my emotional, I want to be more attached with people around me, I want to be more depended, I want to have a true relationship. I want to be able to love myself and also people around me.

I want to be able to hear my own voice again!