Fifth Years Anniversary

It has been five years since I start blogging. I review some of the posts tonight, it remind me a lot of good time and thoughts in the last five years. I actually quite proud of myself. I have created a life with some very interesting stories. I also glad that I wrote it down. I'll continue create a fabulous life for the next 5, 10 ... years.
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Today I received a FB invitation from a primary school's friend - "6s gathering tomorrow". I quickly go through the list of ppl in the invitation. I was trying so hard to remember them. I even try to find some "memories" in my home. Unfortunately, I could not find many of them. It has been 13 years I have not meet my primary school's friends. It makes me very nervous about the gathering tomorrow.

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Malaysia Apple

Do you know Malaysia grow apple?

Dad told me about a place he plans to visit for a long time in Sarawak - Ba'kelalan. Most people in West M'sia won't know about this place. Ba'kelalan is a group of nine villages in the Bario Highlands of Sarawak about 3000 feet above sea level and 4 km from the border with Indonesian Kalimantan. It is a highland you can only reach by flight.

When dad told me about it, the first thing come to my mind is "the apply grow in Malaysia must be soft and sour". But I AM WRONG! Based on the research, it is very crunchy and sweet, and it is impossible to get outside Sarawak. Besides, it also the place has the most expensive rice in Malaysia. The padi is at the highland. Every time we go back Sabah or Sarawak, mum will carry few kgs of rice back home.



I want to organise and pay for a trip to Ba'kelalan for dad and mum next CNY. Sarawak is a very beautiful state. One day, I would like to backpack there.

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Morning jogging

One of my goals of 2009 is being healthy and maintain an exercise rotation. Therefore, I went jogging at Desa Parkcity this morning. After 1.5 circle around the lake, my body starts hurting and the rest of the day. I could not concentrate on working and nearly fall asleep in the office. That is why I hate RUNNING!

Anyway, it is a good start. I just need to be persistence.

p.s. I want to play squash.

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渡星如月

Yesterday, I suddenly realised that it is only 10 days since I came back from NZ but I feel like it has been a month. It has been a long time I have not feel that time past so slow. I don't enjoy the current speed of my life. I want to be busy and efficient, I want the feeling of achievement, completed and important again!

I don't have time and I don't want to waste any more time. I have to stop waiting and DO IT NOW!

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Transformers Website

The transformers website is amazing!
It takes sometimes to load but it is worth it.

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The price of being indecisive

My biggest weakness is being indecisive when come to my future. In the last few years, I changed my plan or decision at the very last minute. Even though I never regret, I have paid for my indecisive characteristic. Today, I made the same mistake again.

I have decided to come back to Malaysia and working on my business at 30th of Dec 08. However, I also considered other opportunity. Hence, I applied for global co-ordinator for Alcatel-Lucent. Co-operating with a good reputation I have developed, I went to the final stage of the interview process. Then, I could not make up my mind what I really want.

Yesterday, I bought a book about the successful story of Li Jia Chen, who is the richest Chinese in this century. One of his successful reasons is he is able to make a quick and effective decision. Once he decide, he remain committed to his decision. It remind me how much time I'm wasiting everytime I being indecisive.

This morning, I sent an email to withdraw my application from the last stage of interview. Of course, it pissed off few people because they have spent sometime for the selection process. My reputation has screwed in some part of the network. I think this is the price I have to pay because of my stupid behaviour.

On the other hand, I learn a lot about myself in the process.

Today, I have a plan and will persist with it. I can't allow myself to make the same mistake again.

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Shanghai 2010 World Expo

I was very excited when watching this preview and planning for the trip to Shanghai in 2010. After many people told me about the very-exciting-Shanghai-city, I always want to go there. This is a perfect excuse for me to plan this trip.

August 2010 - Shanghai! After 11 years, we will have an opportunity to travel overseas together.

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What I have miss out!!

Randomly look at friend's facebook photo and found this! I can't believe after living in NZ for 5 years, I didn't spend any winter time in South Island. I swear I gonna make a trip go back NZ during winter one day!

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Resting

Giving myself a week to rest at home before I start doing anything I want to do. I just realised how much energy was burned in the last twelve months. Need a lot of sleep and healthy food to recovery.

But what's next? I'm not very sure.

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Australia ... Melbourne + Swine Flu

Visiting Australia was my plan since I arrived NZ. Finally... finally... I planned for it so even though there is swine flu in Melbourne... I don't care :P

4 days in Melbourne apparently is not enough. What I want to do? I have no idea, I just want to go with the flow :)

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Packing ...

Just booked the courier service to post 30kg stuffs (with 5 years memory) back home. I have no idea how to pack and wish Annie loo is here LOL!

I wish time can slow down just a little bit and let me enjoy every moment I have left.

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Listen to your heart

After these years of avoiding feeling or trying to be strong and independent, I slowly lose the ability to listen to my own real voice. I find it very hard to actually know how I feel and my inside though.

I have been trying to build up a very-strong- and-less-emotional YiFan in front of everyone. Because of self protection, my relationship with people is very surface. I'm not willing to invest too much time and effort to any relationship. Purely I don't want to get hurt.

By time pass, I feel alone but it is exactly I want to be. I believe I can be more rational and able to handle different changes and situations. It is kind of right, I do feel easy to let go but I also miss a lot of opportunities to build up long term relationship. That is why I always think I am my own best friend.

I want to change this! I want to be more opened to my emotional, I want to be more attached with people around me, I want to be more depended, I want to have a true relationship. I want to be able to love myself and also people around me.

I want to be able to hear my own voice again!

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The ending of the MC chapter

It is 6am in the morning. I just sent Viv to catch her shuttle to go to the airport. I think the sadness of ending finally hit me. It is the first time I could not sleep in Wellington.

I am trying to feel emotional with the ending of the MC term since April because I don't want to regret that I don't appreciate the remaining time. But I don't really feel it until now. I am not sure if I were pushing down my emotion or trying to avoid the feeling. It is just not easy to handle it now. I never feel so hard to leave a group of people. I know that we can and will continue the friendship but the team is ending.

I know that we all have to move on but I really don't know what I can do to have a perfect ending. May be there is nothing you can do more. I just hope I can always remember what happening in the last 12 months. I know we can't live in the past but hopefully this is a new chapter of our friendship.

My top 5 favourite moments in MC term:

• Cleaning the flat at the beginning of our term
• Watching movie and felt asleep on the "very-comfortable" couch
  
• Every time when we visited Christchurch - LC visit, pre-conference, weekend dealer, random visit
• Flat rotation - shower and cooking dinner (although it does last long)
  
• Last party in Wellington with David

Thank you Lydia, David, Anna, Vivian and Nick. You guys have given me such an amazing experience. I'm really lucky! Nothing much I can ask from you guys anymore! I promise I'll keep in touch with everyone no matter what is going to happen the rest of my life.

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St. Patrick's Day

Remember two years ago, we have this big party at 13D+E. Although I can't really remember the detail, it was a good time.

This might be the last chance for me to celebrate St. Patrick's Day in NZ. Three more months, I am going to leave the country that I have been staying for nearly 5 years. 5 years! Every year it means a lot for me! I wish I have a better memory to remember everything!

I am starting to miss my time here. I am feeling a bit scare and sad of my leaving. I try my best to enjoy as much as the fresh air and water, people around me and the beauty of this country. BUT I know I have to move on and start looking another path of my life.

Looking forward to join the creazy Wellington town tonight!

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My life

Your life is in your hands. No matter where you are now, no matter what has happened in your life, you can begin to consiously choose your thoughts and you can change your life. there is no such thing as a hopeless situation. Every single circumstnace of your life can change!

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My No. 200 post: Earth Hour

1fan's blog Post No.200:

38 days 2hours 28minute - the count down for Earth Hour which is hold on 28 March 2009, 8.30pm to 9.30pm (local time). I am looking forward to participate this in Wellington City! Hopefully it will be successful in Kuala Lumpur too.

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Last night in KL

21 hours later, I am going back to New Zealand. Even though I am coming home in 5 months time, I have a strong feeling of leaving. This is the fifth leaving after celebrating Chinese New Year. This visit has been quite special for me.

In the last few years, I went back home town - Sabah - during CNY. Therefore, I wouldn't have enough time to spend with friends in KL. I could only meet them for once or twice. This year I have a chance to have a trip with them to Ipoh and also have some nights spending together. I have a very strong connection with everyone again. I realised we never run out of topic, there always full of laugh and don't have any argument that I can remember. It really makes me feel very happy everytime I spend time with them.

Something interesting happen tonight, I was very busy from morning until evening. It was very stressful when doing some works for my own business. However, I have a very fun night. We randomly decide to go to my place. It has been a long time they have not came to my place. Somehow we went through our photos when we were young (secondary school). It bring back a lot of memory and how "pretty" we were!

The time to say goodbye to everyone, it is very sad! It also makes me worry that how will I feel when I am going to leave New Zealand in July. Especially I might not have many chance to meet everyone again! I feel very lucky that I can meet awesome people no matter where am I or when is it. Thank you!

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Where will be our new home?

This afternoon, my parent and I went to the show room of Semi-D in Taman Sri Sinar. It is allocated behind of my old house.

It is a HUGE AND TALL 3 sty semi-d! We feel tiring just to walk up to the third floor! There are 6 rooms and not sure how many toilets! It costs 1.6 million so you can imagine how pretty it is! There was one question come to my mind, "When am I able to buy this house for my parent?" I told myself - It won't be too far, 10 more years and before I turn 35 years old!

My parent spent about half of this semi-d for our (sis & I) education. I know how much they would like to have their own house (a nice and good home) but they choose to give us the best education. Now is the time for my returning!

I know the next 5-10 years won't be something easy. I aware that the time can pass extremely fast if I don't focus on my goal. I will feel "it is too late" if I am not achieve my dream in the next 10 years. I have to make sure it won't let it happen!

I remember few years ago, I made a goal that I need to retired at 35! (retired does not mean you don't do anything but you have the freedom not to work too hard) 10 years of fully concentration and efforts I believe I can achieve it!

p.s. remember one of my friends told me that visiting show room can remind your own goal! It works! :)

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My 2009 Decision Part II

Today is the first time my dad told me about his business plan for the next few years. My dad is 64 years old. I admire and respect his passion and energy even during recession. From the talked, I realised that how much he would like to see my success.

And me, I am giving myself another 5 months to get ready for everything. I am looking forward to a new start and new life. I know it is the right time!

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CNY 2009

Family

Chinese New Year, my favourite festival and holiday, is a good time to gather with family and friends. However, this year is a bit different because of my sister could not make it. It is the first time I came home without her. It makes me understand how she feel when she is at home without me for the last 4 years. It is different.

Friends - The 10th Years
I can't remember the last trip with you guys. After missing the trip to Lang Tengah last year, I was looking forward to this Ipoh trip. Within this two days, I have a lot of fun and enjoy every moment with every one.I felt like I am a different person with happiness, fun, claim, peace, relax and without any pressure.

I am lucky! It is not easy to have even one best friend but I have nearly 10 of them! It is a group of friends I don't want to ask for anything. For me, to have you guys all the time is more than enough.

"God bless us - BFF!"

10 years friendship celebration - The first time we all clubbing together

Vjan, hope you can find your way soon.
Bin, "thoughtful" is the best word to describe you!
Kyle, see you again at the end of the year!
Ham, wish your dream come true very soon.
Ham Yu, hopefully the next time we meet again won't be another 5 years of waiting.
JiaQian, be diamond!
Laimiin, get married before 30!
ShenNan, let me know when you find dream and passion!
Kiwi, don't poison your patient.
Panda & Pei Fen, don't forget us even bf is important.

another 10 years? Hell YA!

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