Last day of 2008 (the deadline of my decision)

31st of Dec 2008... The last day of 2008.
.2008, it means a lot to me.

This year seems to be one of the longest year for me but it doesn't mean it is a bad year. Whereas, it is a very good year, a very busy year and a very memorable year. A year I wish it would never end!

From nearly resigning from my EB term, graduating from University, finish my best EB term and continue my AIESEC career with MC term... It was a tiring process but I have learn and growth a lot in this process. I have improved my capability for making a decision, finding my passion, enhanced my strengths and getting closer to what I want to be... It is a rewarding year and pretty much a priceless experience.

Every time when come to this time of the year, I am stress to make a decision. Therefore, I have given myself a deadline to avoid demotivation of taking too long or too stress during the process. It is TODAY!! May be I finally learn from experience, the decision come very fast. Or may be this time I really know what I really want.

It has been 4 years since I left Malaysia and come to NZ (between stayed in India and have traveled few countries) for my study and working. Every year I have to do a lot of thinking and analysing to decide what is the best choice for me. Every year I decide to take up more opportunities outside Malaysia because it gave me the highest satisfaction by living in different environment and culture. Every year I am looking for a bigger challenge which can shape me into a better and stronger individual. This year (or next year) I decide to go back and start focusing on my career/business.

It might looks a bit stupid because I actually was planning to do excatly the same thing last year, but I changed it. For many people, it seems like I have wasting one year but I know I didn't Without this 12 months, I won't be so determined in such a short time. Without this 12 months, I won't have another very important team experiences and gain this group of friends. Without this 12 months, I might regret because of not taking on this opportunities. So I am happy, I am so sure I have made the best choice every year.


Now, I am ready...
I am ready for another very challenging year...
I am ready for a completely different environment (Malaysia actually is pretty much a new country for me now)...
I am ready to the new pages of my life...
I am ready to answer the "5-10 years plan" in my life...
I am ready to continue creating the fabulous life...

Thank you for those who have helped and assisted me in the last two months during this process.

and this time... no more last minute changing decision :)

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G1 vs. iphone

Hmm... it is so hard to choose since I am a big fan of both Google and Apple... lol Can't wait to get my smart phone...

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The New Leaders

After three weeks, I have finish reading "The New Leaders - Transforming the art of leadership into the science of results" by Daniel Coleman. I learned a lot by reading this book. It gave me a lot of guidance especially during my decision making process.

The first part of the book is talking about "The Power of Emotional Intelligence". The most part I learn is the four dimension of EI. In AIESEC we talk a lot about competencies, it is very similar but more focus on two parts: personal competency (self awareness and self management) and social competency (social awareness and relationship management). Although these words are very familiar and comment sense, it actually has different perspective and definition.

For example, self awareness has three components - emotional self-awareness (reading one's own emotions and recognizing their impact; using "gut sense" to guide decision), accurate self-awareness (knowing one's strengths and limits) and self confidence (a sound sense of one's self-worth and capabilities). I used to though I have pretty high self awareness but I actually only strong at the self confidence but not too good at the emotional self-awareness. These four dimensions of EI/competencies gave me a better guideline to identify my strengths and weaknesses.

It also mentioned about "resonance leadership". To create a high effective leadership, we need to work on high resonance in the team. The leader's mood will influence the climate of the team and also the result. Therefore, great leadership works through the emotions. This is definitely something I have to put effort on.

Once I have a better understanding about the competencies and different types of internship, the author discuss about "making leaders" at the part II. This is also my favourite part of the book.

It taught me about the "Boyatzis's theory of self-directed learning". I really like this framework and is going to use this framework to be my learning framework. Basically it covers 5 questions:
1. My ideal self: what do I want to be?
2. My real self: Who am I?
3. My learning agenda: Building on my strengths while reducing gaps
4. Experimenting with new behavior: thoughts, and feelings
5. Developing trusting, relationships that help, support, and encourage each step in the process.
I really like the idea of building on my strengths while reducing the gaps (what do I want to be?)

Could not find the exactly same diagram, but this is something similar

Besides, I get very frustrated when people ask me about what is my 5 years plan. It also a comment questions in the applications (no matter what you are applying). I found my answer until I read the part discussed about "how do you think about the future".

There are four types of "planner":

1. Directional or visionary planners: they are good at crafting a picture of a meaningful, distant future state; one that's grounded in values, beliefs, and a deep sense of what's important in life
2. Goal-orientated planners: they get what they go after
3. Action orientation- results in a high level of accomplishment in the short term. Moreover the freedom inherent in such planning adds an element of serendipity that enhance creativity.
   

So when you ask people what is your plan for the next 5 years or 10 years plan, even if they can't just answer you in ABCDEFG, it does not mean people don't know what to do or don't have a plan in their life. Everyone has different way of managing their life and there is different methods of planning.

Last but not least, the book has given me a very interesting description of my personality - "ego-defensive". If you know me well enough, I think you can understand the following paragraphs.

"Many things conspire to keep people from seeing their real slevees. The human psyche itself shields us from information that might undermine our self-perception. These ego-defences mechanisms, as they're called, protect us emotianally so that we can cope more easily with life. But in the process, they hide or discard essential information - such as how others are responding to our behavior. Over tie, these self-delusions that the unconscious creates become self-perpetuating myths, persisting despite the difficulties they cause.

Of course, ego-defense mechanisms have their advantages. Most high-functioning people, for instance, are more optimistic about their prospects and possibilities than the average person. Their rose-colored lenses fuel enthusiasm and energy for their undertakings. The problem comes when the defenses go too far, distorting a person's view of his real self - the person he has become - out of all proportion. The playwright Henrik Ibsen called such self-delusion "vital lies": soothing mistruths people let themselves believe rather than face the more disturbing realities beneath."

The book I am reading now and aim to finish it by 31st Dec 08.

Hot, Flat and Crowded, written by my favourite author - Thomas Friedman

The next book I want to buy:

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Relaxing weekend before X'mas

Brookview Tea House

To maximize the weekend experience in 2008, Viv and I went to Makatana again because we didn't have time to visit the tea house we found last time. This trip is very relaxing, we find some peaceful park and town, enjoy a cup of tea/coffee and read our book.

Orewa Beach

Beautiful view will be the thing I miss the most once I leave NZ.

X'mas is coming soon. Wish you have a Merry Xmas!!! I am looking forward to my Japanese X'mas dinner and standbar afterward.

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MC Year End Dinner 08

7 people with different background and different personally...

Working together as a team...

"Y(ifan)esterday M(Man:Viv)ust N(ick)ot L(dyia)imit O(yedele)ur D(avid)riving A(nna)mbitious"

To celebrate the hard work we have put to this organisation (AIESEC) in the last 5+ months, Viv and I have invited everyone to our MC YEAR END DINNER. From making invitation, come out with the awesome 4 course meal menu, getting the odd number of wine glasses (7) with limited budget, visit vineyard to get the perfect wine for this special dinner, etc. So much effort just for the 5 hours dinner.

Our EPIC menu:
Entrée
Fresh baked ciabatta complimented with Dukka and Olive oil

Savoury onion tuna and ham served on thinly sliced cucumber

Broccoli drizzled with special sesame dressing

Pan fried prawns with Japanese style mayonnaise

Yorkshire pudding filled with avocado, egg and topped with smoked salmon

Soup
Creamy carrot soup with crispy bacon

Main
Oven roasted chicken served with mushroom and rosemary gravy and / or blueberry jus

Side: Roasted shallots and potatoes with a balsamic saucing

Dessert
Fresh field strawberries served with French vanilla ice cream topped with home made gingerbread

Wine List
Home made Special
Champagne, lychee & peach

Villa Maria Pinot Gris East Coast 2008

Villa Maria Noble Riesling Botrytis Selection 2005 Marlborough

Soljans Rakelina Sparkling Muscat

West Brooke Riesling 2008

West Brooke Sav 2008

I really enjoyed the process of preparing it with Vivian. Besides, I am glad that everyone is enjoyed it. Good team experience won't come natually, it required everyone put some effort to bring everyone together. I seldom take this role but I think this is a very good try. I start to enjoy to create the team experience in an obvious way!

Look forward to another 6 months working together and complete our vision:

EPIC 200
Everday People Impleting Changes (with 200 Exchanges)

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Squash and Spanish

Another "first time" experiences for this summer...

Finally I start my Spanish class today after getting the Spanish learning toolkit from Levent. It is a very interesting way of learning. It does not encourage you to memorize, take note, practise and no home work. He encourage us to learn naturally. Only listen to 10 minute lesson. I can easily know 10 spanish words. It allowed me to just learn it in a very relaxing and motivative way.


Besides, I played squash today. My body is extremely tired now but I plan to play it everyday or even twice a week. It is a very good exercise and hopefully to able to manage to play it well very soon.

Learning new thing always make my life more energetic!

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and following by ...

... a luxury week at Viv's place.

For me it is very luxury for me, when I can
* have an awesome view for every good dinner
* gardening
* walk 3 min to the beach anytime I feel like

One of the awesome dinner

First time gardening

The pipe stuck... we spent 4 hours try to put everything back =.="" at the end, we still have to called the plumber

good wine + good food + good friends = good time

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When summer start with...

When summer start with ...

* A national conference
* South Island Road Trip

April this year, I went to South Island with my family after graduation. This month I visit these places again, I experienced a different part of South Island with different people. The same place but different experience.

My favourite photo @ South Island Road Trip

Gingertomb beer

Chasing the sunset

Relaxing on the beautiful beach... Sun burning

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Decision making path

Keep looking, don't settle...

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Back to Malaysia during CNY

I booked the ticket back home today for CNY!

I still can't believe that I am going back to Malaysia during CNY. Thanks for the decreasing oil price so Malaysia airline has cheaper flight back home during CNY. It is such a big release since my parent won't celebrate CNY without any of us. It is pretty sad.

On the other hand, I made a stupid mistake, I booked the flight on 22nd Jan - 12th Feb. Originally was thinking it will be good to go back earlier and spend some time with mum and prepare CNY. But I forgot my dad b'day is on 14th Feb!!! I flight back NZ before his b'day. Feel sorry but will try to do something cool for his birthday before, like making him a dinner.

Yay! It is pretty excited can celebrate CNY at home. Hmm... is thinking to go travelling with them. Mum is thinking to go to Bali but I prefer to HK and China.

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Year End Dinner Invitation

After two hours effort of designing and running the town to get stuffs, finally finish making the "Year End Dinner" invitation!!! LOL


It was a random exciting moment with Vivian (online)...

Especially for ~Vivian Kao~

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Holiday Plan I- High Tea @ Stamfort Hotel

My YEAR END holiday is coming in 2 weeks. After 5 months of hard work, dealing with 100 interns everyday, I feel really exhausted. I need to recharge my energy and deal with another 100 interns next year.

I really look forward to a relaxing and meaningful holiday. I am sure it will be very good (and expensive). I have so many things I want to do - wineyard tour, tennis, yoga, kickboxing (depends on my back condition), read many books, reflection, meditation, orchestra, movie, music, eat, have an awesome x'mas and New Year 2009, etc.

One of the suggestions Vivian told me today is "HIGH TEA". Remember years ago, I was planning to go High tea with Yohei and Annie. But because of some reason (can't really remember), I could not manage to go! Finally, I can high tea again after such a long time. And it only NZ$20 pp. It looks so good! (annie loo, don't be jealous, I will take more photos and send it to you :P)

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Review my blog

Reading my old post just like reading my diary. It is very interesting and enjoyable. Before I start using blogger, I was using friendster blog. I realised that I have been "blogging" since July 2005, by the end of my term, my blog will be 4 years old. Wow! That is cool. :) I would like to continue.

Interesting finding from old post:
1. What am I like
I CHANGED.
I was Planner, Ideas, heads, introvert (2 years ago)
Redo the test again, I am Planner, Facts, Hearts, Introvert.

2. A lot of memories I nearly forgot that happened.

3. Post about my dad's illness. It started from 2006. *pray* Be good!

4. My goal in 2005 but it completely changes after I joined AIESEC. Some interesting posts I wrote about AIESEC. It makes me laugh lol

5. I miss my long hair! Miss my old housemate (13E+D)! Miss India! Miss my friends! --> but still keep moving forward
________

Another good friend - Vjan is no longer be a single :)

K, I should not stay at home for the whole Sunday. Going to Kelburn Village now and have hot chocolate.

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MAYDAY new album

new album from my favourite band MAYDAY - 《后青春期的诗》

你不是真正的快了？
我真的快乐吗？
这也是我最近正在寻找的答案
有人说快乐可以很简单
但也有人说要快乐很难
一个笑话也许能够让人开怀大笑
但我很久都没等到这种笑话了
是我失去了幽默感
还是文化的不同
还是我想太多了

也许我便得太复杂了
渐渐失去简单地美
也许我便得太贪心了
不懂得现在拥有得
但我不想失去享受快乐的能力


主打歌：《你不是真正的快乐》



I love the intro part..

人 群中 哭著 你只想變成透明的顏色
你再也不會夢 或痛 或心動了
你已經決定了 你已經決定了
你 靜靜 忍著 緊緊把昨天在拳心握著
而回憶越是甜 就是 越傷人了
越是在 手心留下 密密麻麻 深深淺淺 的刀割
你不是真正的快樂 你的笑只是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了 也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼
這 世界 笑了 於是你合群的一起笑了
當生存是規則 不是 你的選擇
於是你 含著眼淚 飄飄蕩蕩 跌跌撞撞 的走著
你不是真正的快樂 你的笑只是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了 也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼
你不是真正的快樂 你的傷從不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左側 卻像隔著銀河
難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了 然後才後悔著
你值得真正的快樂 你應該脫下你穿的保護色
為什失去了 還要被懲罰呢
能不能就讓 悲傷全部 結束在此刻 重新開始活著

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全新谢婉婷

she becomes so pretty !

She comes out with a new album again. I can't believe it was seven years ago since her last album. Feel so old. Fall in love with one of her new song - "right side" 右边 - but may be is too new I could not find the lyrics *sad*

Another good song - 《忘了》


《只怪我们》

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My Saturday + Photos Gallery

The view from my flat

After a week long raining day, finally I am enjoying the sunshine in Wellington. I decided to go to town instead of staying at home and get some vitamin D, which makes me happy :)

I had a feeling I will spend a lot of money today so I decide to call mum to get permission to spend her money lol. I was planning to find a dairy for Vivian as a X'mas present. However, nothing is good enough. I was planning to buy a bag, but nothing is nice. At the end I bought nothing, except I accidently find a "lonely planet - travel journey". I was so excited!!!! It is not an easy decision to make though.

Besides, I spent few hours at Gloria Jeans - was sitting on the comfortable couch with ham & cheese crossaint and a cup of Mocha Truffle - reading my book. Best way to spend my weekend.
And now I am listen to 988 and uploading my blog. Having some good time with Malaysian joke & nice songs :) Miss HOME lah

Randomly appear in Wellington city - "double decker... double decker..." - remind me of

On the way back home - Wellington City

_______

1Fan's phone photos gallery
Finally I figure out the problem of bluetooth of my phone and laptop.... :)

Lemon cupcakes

Vivian's little man (was planning to send it to her when she just selected as VPTM)

The best strawberry pancake!!! @ "parrot cafe" (paris cafe) - my birthday breakfast from Viv

Director visit to Canterbury - Thanks sanjaya that brought us to this awesome place!

Anna & I just randomly went into this bar in christchurch just to have a 3G called and make David and Nick jealous.. although we don't really like beer.

CNY this year, my sister & I queued up for hours to get the "long gei yok kon" back to Sabah!

The bed I was planning to buy when I decided to back to M'sia but ... long story.. I wish I have a good bed now!

CNY decoration from Japan - The competition we had every year with our neighbour! I am sure we had the best this year haha..

hmmm.. i am wonder how are the turtle now without Ngui Yi Sin abused them .. Must have a very good life now

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Good friend falls in love ...

Friday night, sitting at home and decide not to party this weekend (be responsible for my back!). As usual, I would like to "update" my knowledge about my friends' life around the world, especially those in Malaysia. The best way is went through everyone blog, facebook and chatting whoever is online.

I find one of the most excited news for a long time - Hoon is going out with someone.. I am just guessing now.. Can't wait to find it out... hahaha It is so nice to know some good friends find their "love" and always want to hear the story. Really miss the gossip time with you guys :)
____

Not sure why, I don't feel happy for a very long time. I found everything not interesting. I am not sure what I want to do next, which bother me the most. I don't find job interesting anymore. I don't find party is fun. I don't want to do anything and don't feel excited. I don't want to talk, I don't want to laugh. I am weird and I think I am sick!

Until I read this book, it makes me understand a lot of thing. However, I still not sure what's wrong with me. I always feel happy when friends around me, doing a lot of stuffs, etc. But I am not, and I am afraid. I hope I will be fine after conference, road trip and holiday in Auckland.

I want to be happy again. Happily inside!

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Hospital "road trip"

"Unfortunately, back pain is a very common problem. Over 85 per cent of the population will suffer back pain over the course of their life."

Since Dec 2007 (after the Singapore trip), I have my back problem until now. It has been a year. It was getting better last two m"onths by reducing travel and carrying heavy stuffs. However, three days ago (after party hard on Friday night, lying on the bed and watching LOST for the whole Saturday), when I pick up my clothe on the floor, I "FLICK" my back!!! It was a massive pain!

I though it will be better after few days but today after I went to the toilet, I could not sit down on my chair. It was another big pain!!!! And my leg starts hurting. I was quite worry so I decided to go to Hospital. And this is how my hospital "road trip" start....

1. The taxi driver suggested "Back to Living Chiropractic" instead of hospital. Since it is nearer, then why not. Once we arrive, the tax left, we realised that place close.

2. Back to original plan, we went to nearest hospital, which is in Newtown. When I arrive the ENA, they suggest I should go to the other place since they can't really do anything other than giving me PANADOLS! Kill me

3. With all this pain, we went to the other hospital with TBI (The Back Institute). Finally something related to back pain. So after this hassle and pain, I finally get some treatment. The best thing is something called ACC pay for all the expenses LOL.. I don't even know what is ACC stand for. Who care ...

So what now:
1. I have to do exercise for my back every single hour
2. Tomorrow I have to go back and learn another exercise for the weekend
3. Tuesday, another appointment.

Actually is quite lucky that I aware the important of my back problem. Hopefully I will get better before the conference next week and also the two week road trip... And I can really enjoy my summer and xmas without back pain and feel young again!

But now i feel like shit and painful :(

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Watching US election

Barack Obama to be America's first black president

Election never be the big thing for me in the past 23 years. I always want to keep track on the happening around the world, however, it never be that excited.

US election has caught my attention from the last few months, I looked forward to our society has less racial problem, more diverse, and something differences. May be because of this, I start supporting Obama. I start watching his speech, buying his book, reading articles related to US election.

This afternoon in AIESEC office, we spent 3 hours watching the live of US election. When the moment Obama become US President, it is very exciting.

It will be very interesting to see what changes will he make in the next 4 years.

20th January 2009

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Crazily buying book

Because of the 50% off borders voucher was given by Vivian, I bought another two books. In last two weeks, I have bought 5 books.

1. Barack Obama - The Audacity of Hope
This is the first time I keep track on US election and quite like his idea and speech so would like to know more about his politic view.
2. Thomas L. Friedman - Hot, Flat and Crowded
A years ago, I read his book "The world is flat" and it becomes one of my favourite books. When this new book come out, I can't not buying it. It is quite expensive but if you love sustainability you have to read this book! Love this book.
3. Elizabeth Gilbert - Eat Pray Love
This is the book I am reading it now. I saw this book at amazon.com was considering to buy for some time. It is about a New York women try to find out herself by traveling 3 "I" - Italy, India and Indonesia. It makes me think a lot.

4. Thomas F. Pawlick - The end of FOOD
Could not decide should I get the end of food or the end of oil. Since I have read quite a lot about oil, would like to know something about food. Have not started yet.


5. Bush's Brain
I really don't like Bush so would like to compare his "brain" and Obama "brain". It will be quite interesting. But the main reason just because it is on sales, only NZ$10 at Victoria book shop.
The next book I want to buy:

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